SIGNS OF SPRING
This past weekend a fresh dusting of snow was on the ground when in a move only an addict would make, I rolled out of bed and jumped in the car in order to be the first to arrive at the season’s one and only “Moving Sale.”
I had seen the sign announcing the momentous event in a fleeting drive by the night before and spent my slumber dreaming and drooling over the treasures I was sure the Earliest Sale of the Year would behold.
“Moving Sales” are hit or miss, since some bewildering people want to tote the treasures with them when they move and leave their junk behind. But in the last days of winter, I’ll take what I can get, like an alcoholic drinking Thunderbird and liking it. My hope was that these Moving Outers were definitely going to want to unload all their heavy Pyrex and cumbersome antique clutter, and, of course, they wouldn’t want to drag that old weathered leather club chair to a new house.
In my off-season desperation, I overlooked the obvious. No one moves in the dead of winter and has a sale. It defies natural order. But when you’re jonesing, you’ll believe anything, including a sign that was left behind months ago. In spite of the obvious, I pathetically drove up and down the road for thirty minutes, hoping beyond growing suspicion that these Moving Outers were still here and just late in setting up. They weren’t. They had moved on. Months ago. And left their sign up to rot! Unfortunately, contrary to some seller’s beliefs, these signs do not take themselves down.
In fact, they have a half-life almost as long as nuclear waste, and are as annoying as a paper cut.
As we enter high season, i have a request, make that a demand: TAKE DOWN YOUR SIGNS, PEOPLE! We salers are making a pact. If signs are left up, your home is fair game. This means we can knock on your door shortly after sunrise, rifle through your stuff, and demand a discount.
March 12, 2008 09:21 AM
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